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In Memory of Ida Ehrhardt

10/20/2020 10:30:00 AM

Former Messiah women's lacrosse player Ida Ehrhardt (Class of 2017) passed away on Oct. 8, 2020. A two-year captain, Ida was a three-time All-MAC Commonwealth honoree for the Falcons and a key contributor on three Conference Championship teams in 2015, 2016, and 2017. Messiah women's lacrosse Head Coach Heather McKay had the privilege of coaching Ida for her entire career at Messiah and was asked to speak at her funeral. These are thoughts from the eulogy she shared on Oct. 15, 2020.

I had the privilege of being Ida’s coach and knowing her for the past eight years. And through Ida, I had the honor of getting to know the whole family, Grandma, Marty and Bob, Eva, Nate and Elizabeth. This is a very special family. Ida was so deeply loved by her parents and siblings, and I know how well she loved each one of them.

And like all of you who are here today, I have been so fortunate to have been deeply impacted by the incredible woman and life that Ida lived. 

The way that Ida played lacrosse was so much fun to watch. She played hard, she played free and she played fearless. The way she approached games, practices, and even days off became a standard that both her past teammates and now current players want to try to imitate. Her constant hustle, drive and voice of spurring on her teammates to work hard every minute of every practice was so rare in a player. Every day she gave every ounce of herself on our field and she loved it. You could always count on her staying after practice for extra reps because it was fun for her as she loved the game and loved her teammates. She was a two-time captain for us and also a standout leader all four years of her career because even as a freshman, Ida set a high standard and inspired others to grow.

She was very outward focused from day one, with a passionate heart of how she could make others around her better. As a collegiate athlete, she played defense when we needed her there, she played middie when we needed her there and she played attack when we needed her there and when we needed the draw, Ida did that for us too. She was a starter for us in every position and she went whole-heartedly into every position change we assigned to her. And without fail, she made every system work better by her being part of it. That is such a rare quality to have and she had it, and know that was the case in other areas of her life too.

Ida was fun, funny, goofy but was all about business when competition was on the line. She loved competition and had an amazing competitive spirit and you always wanted her on your team because in any game, any sport or event, she would give her all. But win or lose, her response would be relatively the same...she would always be the first to congratulate the winner if she lost, or go give the losing team a hug and with that Ida twinkle in her eye, say that they should keep trying and they would get it next time.

Ida was one of the toughest players I have ever coached...I have many examples of this but one example was at the very first practice in January, she came up to me holding out her hand and said, “Here coach, can you hold this?” and dropped something small in my hand. I looked at it, and asked, “What is this?” She replied that she had been hit in the mouth and it was part of her tooth and then quickly ran away as I was asking more questions because she was up next in the drill. Ida never wanted to sit out of anything, even for one second of practice, even for a broken tooth.

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As absolutely tough as she was, she was also just as deeply tender. From listening to her heart for refugees, or hearing her talk about her youth clients through the Georgetown Law School Juvenile Justice Clinic, she always seemed to want to help the underserved, forgotten, or the marginalized. If you were anywhere near Ida you couldn’t fly under the radar because if you were in the same room, she noticed you. It didn’t matter if you were a teammate or coach, she noticed everyone and made people feel noticed. If you were having the best day or the worst day, she would see you. She would go to you to be next to you if it was the worst day waiting to see if you want to talk, or she would be ready to celebrate you if it was the best day. The way she tenderly and patiently cared about her Grandma was so meaningful to see over the past eight years. The way she loved and desired to support her siblings was special too. It seemed she never wanted to tell her siblings what to do but wanted to encourage them in moving in their own path of life, learning through the challenges.

Those are some personal experiences I have had with Ida and the thing I know to be true, is that it was everyone’s experience with her. Ida was genuine and the same person no matter who she was with and that is something I always admired about her.

I had the privilege of talking about really hard but important things with Ida. She loved to think, ask questions and she wrestled with real life issues that everyone should wrestle with at some point in their life. I felt honored to talk about things that matter in terms of life and faith in Christ. She was thoughtful and she didn’t just take pat-answers as truth. She wanted to think deeply and know the Lord deeply. She asked a lot of very important questions so she could grow and learn...

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I know all of us have questions about Ida’s last week. I'm certain all of us have had the thought, “if only I did this,” or “if only I said this,” and that is the reality of this type of situation. But we have to keep reminding each other, for as long as it takes, and help each other in our grief not to stay there. Yes, I have questions for the Lord in this pain but I have been reminded of some absolute truths as well...

The Lord grieves when we grieve (John 11:35). We all have been crushed all week and I know the Truth is that He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, Isaiah 42:3) and He is the Only One Who fully knows us (Psalm 139) and knows the depth of our pain, whatever we are going through. He is the Only One that can handle and heal our brokenness (Isaiah 53:4a-5). No human being can do that.

This Earth is not our home (Matthew 6:19-21) but I constantly try to make it my home so often by the way I want to live. I want to be comfortable, happy. I want things to be easy, pain-free...And the reality of death is probably the very best reminder to not live as if this earth is our forever home. 

I’m also convinced, that this is not the end of the story. He has promised that no situation is out of His loving, tender and perfect care (Isaiah 41:10).

And the most important truth of all is that He has conquered the finality of death. Jesus took that on Himself and finished it to give us eternal life in Him (John 3:16). And I am so grateful we can live each day knowing that.

This loss of Ida is life-changing for all of us in many ways because of what a precious person she was...But I also hope it is life changing for all of us in a different way too...that this tragedy would have each of us pivot towards Christ and not away...that we would run to Him with our lives...the messy, the broken, the hurts, the questions. Because He grieves with us right now, we need to be reminded this is not our home. He is with us in our sorrow, sickness and death and this is not the end of His story.

Lord, help us to not grieve without hope, let us grieve with Hope and faith in You and your Truth... Please give us your mercy.

In memory of Ida Ehrhardt
Women's Lacrosse - Class of 2017

Heather McKay
Women's Lacrosse - Head Coach